India was the only undefeated team in the ICC Men’s Cricket World Cup 2023; winning all the nine matches they played against all countries including Australia previously on their run up to the Finals. They were at the top of the point table. Then happens yesterday’s defeat to Australia, absolutely unthinkable! Captain Rohit Sharma in the Press Conference the day before the finals spoke about how he had been preparing for this day since he took over the Captaincy.
What happens when things don’t go as planned in life?
I am bringing this up in general - it could be in a sporting event or match, in a relationship or in any work situation?
Post losing a match or a break up or not getting a promotion - there would be endless rounds of ( heated) discussions/arguments/ analysis or post-mortem of the causality!
First starts the blame game!
Who let the team down? Who all were responsible?
Which moments cost us the game/ the match?
Fingers would perhaps be raised within team members, the captaincy, the coach, the selection committee or the management; then comes the external stakeholders - the media, the ICC, and the general public at large! Reasons would be sought and given - some would be genuine and others may sound like excuses. Certain individuals may even play the victim card.
Similarly in a relationship - who started and caused the strain in the relationship, the hurt and why? What was lacking? Was there trust and good communication between the two individuals? Were there any red flags?
In a work situation why did the promotion not given to a certain individual? Was the Supervisor supportive throughout the year and guide the candidate well, did she make a strong case for the promotion? Were wrong promises made or was there inability in managing the incumbent’s expectations? Who was the sponsor and the final decision making authority?
In all the situations there would be things not in control of the teams/ individuals concerned and those that they can do something about.
Talent and hard work is what helps an individual player win. An injury or number of faults made on any given day can make her lose a match. In a team sport, the coordination amongst team members, the skill of each individual and how hard they have practiced together gets them through the match. Not catching the ball or running fast enough to save runs are all important! What is not in their control - the pitch or toss in cricket or the weather and the environment in any sport.
In a relationship - trust and communication can usually resolve any issue between a couple but factors arising out of individual jobs, financial and social status, view points of parents/ relatives in certain cultures, health etc can sometimes be out of a person’s control and affect the relationship.
In the last example of a work situation - there are again a number of factors that could be out of a person’s control who is hardworking and remarkable in her work - her supervisors, sponsors or bosses, how well the market and economy are impacting the business unit the person is in or how well overall the Organisation is doing. The last few impact the management’s call whether or not to approve employee promotions, salary increments and bonuses! Also there are multiple people who are rated as outstanding performers even with utmost data certainty but and it cannot be denied there would always be unconscious biases at work towards final decisions being made; which are always out of a person’s control!
What NEXT ?
In the first scenario - in all likelihood team would be revamped, some hard decisions taken and game strategy reworked!
In the second scenario, the couple will either work towards repairing their relationship if it’s important to both of them or walk away from each other;
In the final work scenario, the incumbent would perhaps work towards another year of outstanding work and better communication with the boss! Or else see a change of role!
The alternative to the above three scenarios could be the individual concerned keeps sulking, whining, complaining, playing the victim card for a long time! Inability to bring closure and move ahead will deem a person into a negative spiral which becomes difficult to come out of! Keeping a growth mindset and exploring opportunities for regaining confidence and starting afresh in a sport, at work or in a relationship would help you bounce back, not make the same mistakes and hit a WIN 🏆in everything important to you!
(This article first appeared on the WiP page on 20th Nov 2023. I am the founder of WiP which is a cohort of like minded talented women who help each other grow in a fun filled, judgement free manner!)