Influence has been described as the capacity “to have an impact on the behaviors, attitudes, opinions and choices of others.” To be truly effective – in good times and in times of great challenge – leaders must master the ability to influence others. Robert Cialdini, the author of book Influence argues that it is important to understand the psychology of persuasion and why people respond so we can tap into opportunities to influence their decision-making and actions. Without the ability to influence others, the truly important things in work and in life can’t be achieved.

In my view influence is an essential life and leadership skill. In your relationships you try to sway your partner or friend’s political opinions or views regarding a movie, a TV show or the decor of the house. At other times it could be the next outing/ vacation or what cuisine to order ! At work getting your boss to consider your ideas, convincing colleagues or asking staff to take a certain course of action all require a degree of persuasion. Hence, the greater your influence, the more powerful your results. And contrary to what people think about influential people, they are not always innately charismatic, eloquent people. Persuasion — or influence — therefore is a skill that can be learned and developed.

I believe if you want to influence people, we need to first learn to respect their opinion, listen to them, connect with emotions, learn to empathise, and where needed sympathise and last but not the least make them feel important.

At work, everyone needs to work at being the domain expert in whatever field they are in. My favourite question (and a rather very important one) to people about how good they are is “what are you the “go to person” for …??” You want to have influence - start being aware of the developments in your specific field and what’s happening across your organisation, knowing who is the competition and what are they doing, driving results and keeping an eye on the big picture! Another very important aspect is building powerful networks within and outside your organisation and leveraging these networks at the right time ( people never do this and when they need to find another job it’s too late to build a network)! Building relationships, collaborating with others, being approachable and coming across as friendly and helpful, giving feedback as and when required - all these things go a long way in your ability to build influencing skills! Believe me whether it’s bosses or subordinates everyone wants to work with a person who knows what she is doing !!!

As part of mentoring others I find most high pressure jobs make us so inward looking that we lose out on being the best version of ourselves. And then at a critical stage in life people are keen to seek the “how to” perspective! Some try and others give up even before starting!

There is so much more to share but will end here hoping there is enough to assimilate and internalise !

(This article first appeared on the WiP page in April 2021. I am the founder of WiP which is a cohort of like minded talented women who help each other grow in a fun filled, judgement free manner!)