Whenever I ask leaders about their first mentor or most memorable mentor, every fourth person does end up saying it’s their mother. It is natural that the most important mentor or person of influence is anyone’s mom. A mentor to most people is someone who critically guides them through life’s decisions and provokes endless learning from their life experiences and wisdom. The only person who meets this idea of a mentor is a mom. You have known her since birth and have always felt loved and cared for by her. She gives you every tool that you could possibly need to succeed through school and then help you choose University and educational/ career options. She moreover regularly provides you with words of encouragement and is also honest when you are in the wrong, and pushes you to reach your potential.

Only when you start your work life and perhaps get married and start a family of your own do people find another supportive, caring person in a spouse or supervisor who ends up mentoring them and leaves an impression on them.

I found myself at a young age in positions leading larger teams and sometimes being the only woman around. Instead of coming across as a bitchy girl, I preferred being a nurturing “elder sister-cum-boss”. At what point that sis ended up being taken as a mother, I don’t know, but a decade later, people often said, “Ma’am, you come across as a mother figure to us!” I wondered if they meant that out of respect for my seniority. Or because my way of functioning was seen as direct/straightforward while giving feedback or getting work done from people without beating around the bush.

Outside of the office, people would continue to address me the same way. My husband would get irritated and says what do they mean, they may just be a couple of years younger than you, but they talk to you as if you are really old. I never minded that then nor does it bother me now.

I find culturally calling someone didi or Maa humbling because we hold them in so much reverence that it ought to make us wanna be better versions of ourselves.

(This article first appeared on the WiP page on 15th May 2023. I am the founder of WiP which is a cohort of like minded talented women who help each other grow in a fun filled, judgement free manner!)