The adage ‘fake it till you make it’ (FITYMI) is everywhere. It is a relatively dark but inevitable subject in our lives.

There are various people and articles that advocate it’s benefits! The point of faking it is to imitate confidence , competence and optimistic mindset in the hope to realistically achieve the results eventually through the act!

It’s not very different from the fact that many parents hope that if their awkward teens displayed cheerfulness and friendliness in get togethers later in life they will actually become more open and confident. In typical work scenarios you may similarly adopt a FITYMI approach to attend networking events sponsored by your boss (which you may actually detest) only because you know it could be professionally good for you. You not only show up for such events, you make small talk and pretend to enjoy it even, in the hope that one day you will actually start liking these long evenings or hating them less!

FITYMI gets perpetuated every time someone is suffering from ‘imposter syndrome’ or feelings of inadequacy and seeking validation, approval and admiration of others ! In my opinion “faking it” can be a dangerous game and actually stressful to the individual because of fear of being found out, it is deception for the sake of seeking validation and proving worth to others.

My view is faking a few degrees of confidence is fine - we have all been there ( presentations and one on one meetings with Seniors Management, Investors or Press) but feigning competence is a strict No No!! The simple truth is you either know how or you don’t. You can’t pretend to be fluent in a foreign language if you can hardly string a sentence together. You can’t tell an investor that you have exceptional financial acumen if you can barely work excel. You can’t tell a prospective customer that your product will solve their problem if it won’t. Don’t lie about your, or your company’s product capabilities because if you do and you get ‘found out’ then you’ve just lost that person’s trust forever!

My final piece of advice would be to teach yourself how to keep the “faking it” to a minimum and the “making it” to a maximum. Understand the finesse and you’ve mastered the powerful practice of FITYMI.

Are you at a stage of life or work in an organisation where you still have to resort to fake it till you make it? Do you find it difficult to stick to your authentic self? Do reflect on the subject.

(Refer Research on the subject - Susan O Brien and Christopher Lawrence )

(This article first appeared on the WiP page on June 14, 2021 . I am the founder of WiP which is a cohort of like minded talented women who help each other grow in a fun filled, judgement free manner!)