A simple lunch conversation on a topic like “parents are great in spotting fake friends of their children; and children are great in sensing fake (insincere) relatives” led me to write about DENIAL today!

If a situation is just too much to handle and a person responds by refusing to perceive it by denying that it exists she is said to be in denial. Going through some denial in a situation till you have got your act together may not be a bad thing but persistently refusing to acknowledge that something is a wrong way of coping with emotional distress.

We all tend to do this one time or the other - we refuse to admit that we could be tired, exhausted, stressed, depressed or feeling ill. These may actually be manifestations of a bigger problem to do with illness, unhappy relationship, bad financial situation or a horrible issue at work - could be anything happening to us or someone else that makes us feel vulnerable or threatens our sense of control and hence we try to deny it.

Denial can be wrong in two kind of cases. One in children, when they tend to be in denial because of wrong doings of their parents. The downside to which is that young children end up blaming themselves, feeling ashamed and growing up with feelings of low self-esteem all their life unless they grow up to understand where their denial came from.

And two in adults, who may take time to process certain hard hitting events in their life, relationship conflicts etc. which may cause feelings of deep hurt or grief. They might then believe that they have forgiven the people involved and moved on in life, but the question to ask is if they are living in denial and have actually processed the situation, dealt with their feelings and healed completely.

Denial is a favourite word of psychologists and can have simple or difficult consequences. I have merely penned down my simplistic thoughts about it.

On a lighter note, I have been a very self-aware person most of my life but I am the first to admit for example that I do tend to stretch myself a bit too much at times… I know when I am doing it but in my head ….I still like to downplay possible consequences of say stretching myself instead of being wary about it and hence am constantly in a state of DENIAL!

Have you noticed that about you ? When are you typically in a state of denial? Or do you know someone who tends to do that. Do reflect on this.

(This article first appeared on the WiP page on May 10, 2021. I am the founder of WiP which is a cohort of like minded talented women who help each other grow in a fun filled, judgement free manner!)